Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
1. Theo tells me I should try conditioner, that it will make my hair smoother.
2. Nate informs me that I packed a fork last time I gave him applesauce, and that the cafeteria only allows 1st graders one spoon per year.
3. Mary says "I thought you were an art major at some point," as I struggle to draw the outline of a human body on a poster board free hand.
4. Nate says "When I look at you I think black." huh?
5. Nate screams "I am trying to show him the pain he puts me through everyday." This explains why he was following Theo around pointing a nerf gun at him.
There are two more I was going to write, but I can't remember, because they are sucking the brain cells out of me.
I have really been perplexed about what to do about where we live, if we move, if we stay, and for how long. I think about it way too much. I unplugged today, and laid on my bed to just be quiet and let God talk to me. I woke up 2 hours later, running out to the kids' bus stop, with the lines of my sheets imprinted on my face.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Adam and I installed 24 bags of insulation into our attic yesterday. This was the perfect home improvement project for us, because he was in the attic blowing in the insulation, and I was in the garage feeding the hopper.
About 8 years ago we installed 500 square feet of tile, and it almost ended our marriage. I am let's just start already even if we don't have everything we need. He is a perfectionist with a bit of a lazy streak. We decided to not do any more collaborative projects. Ever. But when the estimate for more insulation was 2 grand, and we realized we could do it in an afternoon for $250, we put the wounds of tiling behind us.
While I was loading the hopper, I had on a mask, but the dust kept getting in my eyes. So I put on sunglasses. The glasses fogged up because of the mask. So I started thinking about people who have cataracts.
So I used this tiny little peep hole of vision through the bottom to work, and keep the dust out of my eyes. So I started thinking about my RP as it progresses.
None of these were necessarily negative thoughts, just insights. I am so grateful for where I am at. Right now. I am so grateful that this is a progressive disease that I can adjust to as time goes on. It is almost like a "hey you, live in the moment" continuous reminder.
I have always wanted to volunteer for habitat for humanity. Thinking that I would not be on a roof in retirement was the first thing that made me cry about this disease. I am thinking, there has got to be something that I can safely do for them. I am going to go check it out now, I mean why wait?
I think I may go look around the attic again this morning, check out our work, while puffing out my chest.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I have the worst memory when it comes to past events and where I have met people. I think this is a blessing. Because as I was reading the things I wrote, I was thinking, this is yucky. What kind of psychopath feels this way?
Okay so this is what I am going to pray for this week:
1. To continue to be able to forget, like a goldfish in a bowl.
2. To remember that feelings pass, and
3. Not emotionally abuse my loved ones while said feelings are passing....